Friday 2 November 2007

Yearning for more

About two months since my last post…within these two months, I found myself firmly sticking to my early conviction about this place. Winning the World Cup, as much as it gave me a misconception of a united South Africa…, more than anything, it brought forth the deep rooted issues, that this place has to seriously deal with. Without beating about the bush, I am yet to come across a place so segregated as this place, in every way, between whites and blacks, locals and foreigners, Zulus and Vhendas, the elites and to working class. I mean every facet of this place…bore some form of segregation, in every corner you turn, every alley, every cupboard you open. You can hear it, smell it, and even taste it… as if that wasn’t bad enough… nepotism, classis… is rife, with corruption rearing its ugly head in every state department…

Each day, I find myself loosing the love I had for this place, each day, the passion, commitment, warmth I once felt for this place, is replaced by shame, fear, sadness. The very thing, that made me give up a seemingly familiar, comfortable place with people and things I held dear, because I felt I had to give and would feel complete or more fulfilled doing something for my continent…instead the past few months have been unpleasant. This is not entirely due to the environment, but also personal struggles and internal conflicts have exacerbated matters. But I believe, had this place been the home I thought it was, or what I expected, the personal issues would have been bearable.

It is funny how, it took being somewhere to know that, this is not it. True that, it takes having experienced the worst, to know and learn to appreciate, the best in life.

That’s said, I must acknowledge that, this place has come a very long way, it amazes me each day, I mean only yesterday I was in a minibus taxi, and it had a telly inside…I was a bit confused of my location… it has soo much going on. And a lot of Europeans choose to be here, they make this their home, place of businesses, holiday destination, etc. I personally think in the process of getting this place to be as competitive in the global market, we lost track of the real simple issues, that need to be tackled…and depending on different personalities, to me, these mean more to me, than the technological advancement, economic and infrastructural growth and development. It should be noted, that each and every one of us, sees the world in our own unique lenses, and what matters is the colour of our own, So this is my own perception, and I have come across different people who do understand where I am coming from, but have different motivating factors, from mine…theirs is not necessarily wrong or right, we simply are after different things. In the past few years, I have discovered simplicity, and learnt that there is more to life… than what I had always believed.

1 comment:

Dragonflysoul said...

hey! what happened to your other blog?? whenever i try to reach it, it says "not found"! :-(

The geography

The geography