My home

Through my journey to try and rediscover this place I cal home, and try and find myself as an African child, I’ve discovered that I don’t know and understand this place… I cannot relate to it. The women that I have become in the past two years is, incomprehensible to the land of my birth, I have become estranged from this place, it’s children, culture, it’s ways… my soul yearns for more, I have searched from the southern tip of Africa to the Northern part of South Africa…and all I discovered was that home is where love resides, where the color of my skin bares no significance.

And I am glad I had the opportunity to discover what home could and should be like, in the few months I have been back here…I have felt the most loneliest. Much as I love this continent and it’s children, I hate what colonialism has done it. Colonialism stripped Africa of its warmth and love, and its children of ubuntu (humanity). It has been a painful journey watching the remnants of apartheid, and how this animal is clinging soo tightly, refusing to let go and free Africa. The most horrific result of this animal is the destruction of mind and soul, it has destroyed many.


To be continued…

been a while

i know... i promised a lot when this blog started... but i had to deal with personal crisis... and soo much has happened...
all i can say, Africa is beautiful and it is home... and gosh....

i need to sit down and tell all, sometime soon.

Only in South Africa

Well, I still wonder if the plane from England didn’t detour to the US rather than Africa. Picking up my usual Sunday paper, I couldn’t believe it. There has been delays with the construction of the Gautrain, an underground train between Pretoria and Jo’burg, now Khulula, one of the budget airline company, saw a gap in the market. Instead, they will launch their shuttle flights, between Sandton, Pretoria, and the OR Thambo International Airport (formerly known as Johannesburg International Airport or Jan Smuts Airport, depending on how old you are). This is meant to operate exactly like the train, but cheaper, undercutting the proposed Gautrain by 30% to 40%. It might be called Gauplane. A 100-seater jet operating every 15 minutes, the duration of the flight will be 6 minutes. Apparently it will really be quick and easy flying within the City, with short check in times, no checked luggage, with refreshments on sale, and you can use your mobile and wifi internet on board.

Basically u’d just pack your car and hop on the flight to work in the morning, then hop on the flight home latter in the afternoon. I laughed the entire time reading the article, usually I’d say only in America, you get these kind of things, but nah…now Mzanzi is really acting American in more ways than one, I thought the Nando’s drive through was as far as this will go, but I bet soon, there’ll be drive through drug stores.

Why don’t they have one in Cape Town, traffic is ridiculous, I wouldn’t mind hopping on a flight to the office, and spend only 6 minutes instead of an hour or more. Maybe a move to Jozi won’t be a bad idea then.

'T was a shock

I remember my very first day in London, walking down High street Kensington, i came across a guy who was busy doing some labour jobs on the pavements. i stood and stared at him for what must have been 5 minutes, you see he was white, that to me just did not look right. i wanted to ask him, what the hell was wrong with him? how can he be white and be doing odd jobs like that. and after a long while i walked away, realising for the very first time, how much Apartheid had penetrated me, as much as i, understand the effect of our system and how the rest of the world operates. But it was imbedded in me, that is all i have known and understood. I have always know whites were superior and you NEVER find a white folk doing that kind of job. in my country, that is a black man's job. it was in my subconscious ness, it was a painful revelation.

On Friday i walked around the CBD in Cape Town, there we quite a few constructions going on, i was frantically s3arching for just one, not even white, maybe coloured or Indian soul... i did not even find a single one. i must have seen over 50 men, ALL of them were blacks, and that suddenly felt a bit odd for me. this country sure has a very LOOOOOONG way to go where that is concerned. as much as things might be different theoretically, the reality is sad.. it is a very marginalised society.

The Culture

Well, most interesting of culture I must say. Extremely Americanised, I mean you get confused whether you landed in Jozi or LA, until you hear the accent. Ranges form TV, music and all, though it is a known fact that US culture is copied all over the world. Having been in the UK, I noticed the pride the English have in their own culture. Until I went to England, the English language was always just one English, I didn’t know that you get American and English… 2 different languages, needless to say I was corrected more often than not, as I spoke more American than English, and I don’t mean Yankee slang or anything like that, now having to adjust to the way people speak here. Even television, British TV is just that British Television. I have had to have friends from SA updating me via e-mails, on what was happening on some of the programmes I liked, funny thing is, these r all American programmes, like Girlfriends.

It is not only that, even the type of music, you hear on a Metro FM (SA) and Kiss FM (Brit) totally different. I would turn onto metro to catch up with the newest India Arie, and wouldn’t get that on Kiss. Worse one of my favourite Classical singer Josh Groban, an American who isn’t well know in England, but extremely popular in SA, I only found out he had a new CD on my first week back, he ain’t even South African. The music differs totally.

The culture is something else, though coming back, soo much has changed… and there is a slight and a conscious effort to move back to Africa, there is this whole Africanism thing going on. For example, one thing I have always know, even when in England, is that, South African, r more ethic in their appearance than most of Africa, I’d be in Canary Warf and a Nigerian guy would come to me and tell me I am South Africa, mainly ‘cause of my locks. We r more into natural, ethnic looks, etc. but coming back, I have notices, this has moved to another level now. I have 2 siblings, we all have locks, well I am the bad influence, I count the friends or people I know who don’t have locks. It is crazy ya’ll, whereas when I was in Europe and America, I did notice that, natural hairstyles are very much looked down on. Whereas weaves and all, is the in thing, more acceptable, especially in the corporate world. To be all natural, you ought to be artsy, soulful, etc. where as here… business woman, have locks, parliamentarians and ministers have locks, CEOs have locks… it has moved from the age of trying to make a statement, which was the case 9 years ago when I did it. Now it’s more a fashion accessory, more accepted way, than weaving and all that.

So there is this whole identify issue, and at the same time trying to be very much like the west, in the way things r done, values, etc, but maintain one’s African identity. All I can say it is an interesting place to be, soo different in soo many ways. I am also learning a lot, and tryna adjust to the culture.

Xenophobia

I have been meaning to write about this for a while. Well figured it would be appropriate as one of the posts about SA. This is not something I experienced, since being back here, but more while I was in London. I personally think South African’s are the most xenophobic bunch of people, it is disguising. It could be partly blamed to the segregation era, we were divided according to different tribes and classes. Even looking at the geography, Zulus are on their own, and so are Xhosas, Tswanas, etc.

The worst thing is that, this still exists today. i once went to a South African party, in the summer (well British summer), it was in South East London. I have never ever felt like such an outcast, amongst my own people. i get there, and everyone automatically assumes I am not one of them, someone was shocked when the host, who’s the only person I knew, spoke to me in Zulu… they thought I am from the Caribbean. I get there, you find, the Pedi clan at one corner, the Zulu clan at another, etc. I dunno if it’s a matter of feeling comfortable and being able to speak your own language, but nah…I manage to speak about 9 of the eleven official languages,, cause I made a conscious decision to. And worse the girls would be at one end, and the boys another, with the girls giving me nasty looks and all. The only 2 people who spoke to me, were a Zimbabwean and a Nigerian dude. Eventually when I got introduces to one SA dude, he claims, well he wasn’t sure if I’d talk to them or be mean. I vowed that was the last time you see me at some so called SA party, never, and I never attempted to.

I guess, it’s a matter of choice. While at Uni, my school was very international, 60% of the students were non South African, and I never did cliques at all, I’d have friends from all walks of life, a bit of Pedi, Swati, Xhosa, Zimbo, German, ect. Whereas there were the tribal cliques. Even going out, I got to a point in third year, where I didn’t go to Kwaito clubs that much, my friends were from all over, and we had to find a common ground, and we found that with hip-hop. I’d always been open minded, you take me to a rave joint, I’d get down like I’d been doing it forever ( though that stuff gave me headaches), and we move to a hip-hop joint and I’d get down, and I’d still get down at a Kwaito joint, attempted dombolo and kwasa at some Congolese joints. Though amongst all these my heart rested with South African House and hip-hop.

But it is not even about the music or anything like that. I made a conscious decision to go out there and meet people, mix with them. Some of my friends wouldn’t be in the same room, when I had a leaving do in 2004 before moving to England, it was an interesting event, I have all sorts of friends, for all sorts of reasons. Before I left England, a friend was shocked how I had over 40 people coming to my leaving do, since most of hers had left for SA, and the truth is, there were only 2/3 South African’s at my do, my friends were from all over the world and that is how it has always been for me.

But the point is, South Africans are Xenophobic, and tend to keep to themselves. I find that really disgusting, and as a result I am sometimes seen as not a true South African, but foreign loving. I guess this would explain why I hadn’t dated a South African dude in a while. It was never a conscious decision not to. It just happened because of the places and people I hung with. But the positive thing is that, not all of them, most of my friends, are all open minded and world travelled, and tend to see the bigger picture. It tends to happen with rural based and township dwellers, who just think everyone is here to take over, etc. But the sad reality is that SA is an open market economy, so they better get on with the programme sooner than latter. As much as I understand, it is our history, but people refuse to move on, they are still trapped in the past. I guess the reality is that, as much as we are free etc, depends on how you view freedom, it is gonna take some time for things to change, for people to really be mentally and emotionally free. Especially since this is become a class based society, and the gap between the rich and poor is widening by the day.

Jozi

Went jogging the other day, and it was refreshing to see how clean this place can be, almost as if no one lives around here, well I live in the Northern Suburbs of Jo’burg (Randburg) and it is the least busiest place, posh apparently. There is a nature reserve just few minutes walk, quite different. But one thing that really caught my eye, other than the multiple malls, literally every second to third block there is a mall. And the are all packed. I digress, well what I noticed was the fact that Armed Response, must be a lucrative business to get into. I mean, every house has some form of armed response and there are placards everywhere, and in some cases there are security guards, in the middle or a residential dwelling,, you’d find a small security guards kiosk thing. We are not talking your average security within a complex. In this case it seems like the community somehow came together to have a stationary security kiosk within their midst, sort of guarding a section of the suburb.


And I took the minibus taxi the other day, I hadn’t taken that in years, it was quite an experience, on my way back I sat at the front considering I wasn’t sure where to get off, so I thought it better to sit next to the driver. I ended up being caught in collecting the fares, it wasn’t fun. You get confused with all the moneys everyone gives you, before my stop, this lad from the back was complaining about wrong change and all. I dunno why didn’t that taxi have a conductor, that is the norm and makes things easy. And I notices, it is strictly the less well off who use that mode of transport. but I guess the difference between the bigger and smaller cities, is that in bigger cities you get all races using it, white, black, coloured and Indians. I was shocked to see a white person at the taxi rank, that is not normal. But then again I haven’t really lived in Jozi, maybe it has always been the case, as for Cape Town, strictly blacks and coloureds, and so are most places.